What it feels like

I’ve been dreaming about being pregnant for ages. But what would it be like? How does it feel? How bad is this “morning sickness” everyone talks about? Why don’t people just power through if they feel so tired?

Well, I’ve now experienced it for five whole days.

The first trimester lasts 12 weeks?!

The first few days after I got a faint positive were absolutely awful. Day one, I wake up with the worst hangover I’ve ever had. This is pretty interesting because I’ve been pounding water and soda all night to hide that I’m not drinking at a bachelorette party. So it’s not like my body is exactly parched for fluids.

I’m so hungry it’s painful; it feels like I’ve grown extra nerve receptors in my stomach overnight. The sensation of emptiness is so bad I want to cry. A hole has opened up where my stomach previously was, and is intent on consuming everything around it. Itself included.

So eat something, right? Nope. Because I apparently have the stomach flu or something. No WAY will I get anything down. Everything is spinning, and I’d love nothing more right now than to puke. But I know there’s nothing to throw up, just like you know that last drink was one too many, or this cold is gonna be a bad one.

But maybe that’d be better than this terrible gnawing feeling in my stomach.

Fine, I’ll try to eat something. Everything I find though smells awful. Get anything within wafting distance of my nose (which admittedly is now farther than regular wafting distance), and the desire to vomit rears back even stronger. Stronger than I realized it could, because I thought it was already as bad as it could get.

Ok well, I’m clearly hungry. I just need to power through and get some calories in me.

But the texture of everything is too weird. A bite of energy bar is too dry. A sip of smoothie feels like it’s coming right up my esophagus again. A nibble of bagel is a dry, salty sponge. A corner of banana bread sticks in my mouth like a rotten banana.

No wonder I’ve lost weight!
improve energy
Beyond the digestive woes, I’m tired. Really, really tired. I just climbed a fourteener, then swam a mile in choppy water, and finished off with ten, quarter-mile sprints. I didn’t bring enough food with me, so my blood sugar is low and I’m cranky. My body won’t move, my brain doesn’t work, even breathing is exhausting. I just want to sleep.

Check out: Tips to Improve Energy while Pregnant

But I’m too nauseous and this awful, awful pain in my stomach won’t let me.

I guess I’ll drink some water. Water doesn’t make me gag (though it does sit funny in my stomach). Oh, Gatorade is as easy to drink as water, and has sugar in it! If I drink this whole liter, I’ll get 200 calories. That’s a feast, compared to what I’ve been able to get down! Gatorade is my new best friend.
relieve nausea naturally (1)
It’s something. The more I drink, the less intense the nausea is. If I can manage to eat something, everything else feels better. I just can’t get hungry, otherwise the awful stomach hole-nausea-exhaustion spiral starts up again. Drink eat drink eat drink eat. Sleeeeeeeeep.

(Oh, you wanted me to actually be productive at work, boss? Haha, ok yea, I’ll get on that…)

I’m getting through one day at a time. Hey, I’ve made it through five days so far! And I really don’t want to hear how many more days I have. Don’t do the math. Oh, of course you went and did the math. Well I don’t wanna hear it.

Just keep eating, just keep eating.

KK 12jul18