The nausea is pretty bad this morning.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting claims nausea doesn’t really start for most preggos ’til week 6, which is still a few days away. It also says that if you’re prone to motion sickness as a normal lady or tend to get nauseous easily, you’re more likely to experience “extreme nausea” (her words!) during pregnancy.

Something to look forward to.

I’m kind of freaking out because all these books and pregnancy articles say symptoms don’t really start until 5, 6, or 8 weeks, and here I am struggling to even get to the start line. Are my symptoms going to get even worse? Will I feel more debilitated than I already do? Will I lose more weight? Will I lose my (currently pretty strong) appetite?

Will I start peeing my pants when I sneeze?!

I already feel like a truck hit me, and now I’m trying to go about my normal life as if nothing happened. On top of that, I’m still trying to hide it from everyone, so when I start crying in my cubicle for some reason or another, or need to take a break while walking to sit down and catch my breath, I’m always trying to think of an excuse. It’s honestly a relief being around the few people who do know, because I can say, “Hey, I’m feeling super tired from making a placenta, do you mind if we rest for a min?”

My brother’s been one of the hardest to hide it from. We went bouldering last week, during which I was being UBER cautious about every move and every potential fall. At one point I got up high enough on a climb that I didn’t feel safe reaching for the next hold. So I slowly downclimbed a couple moves then dropped.

“What happened? You barely even tried for it.”

“Oh, uh, it was really high. Ya know.”

He must think I’m such a lame-o. I can’t wait to break the news to him, then go back and say, “Remember that time we went bouldering? And that time I bolted out of the mosh pit within 10 seconds of the band starting up? Or when I “wasn’t in the mood” for my fave brewery, the Mountain Sun? Or when I had to walk my bike up a super easy mountain bike trail because I was breathing too hard otherwise?”

I am just so worn out. I never imagined pregnancy would be this exhausting. All these online articles say a pregnant woman on the couch is working harder than a professional athlete running a marathon.

Yea, I could see that.

KK 21jul18