Look, being pregnant has made me start to believe in souls.
Because sometimes I just feel this inexplicable presence, like my baby’s here with me.
The first time it happened was four days after I ovulated. I was standing at a computer doing nothing in particular (maybe cruising Buzzfeedfor example) when I suddenly felt like there was SOMETHING IN ME. It happened so quickly and blatantly that I gasped out loud. There was a presence wondering if it could grow strong and healthy here.
I put my hand over my uterus and silently said Hi. Then I reassured the presence that it was safe to start growing and we were ready to take care of it.
Richard was also home.
“Hey love, I know this sounds crazy, but could you try something?”
I put his hand over my lower abdomen and told him what I had felt.
“Just let it know it can start growing. It’ll want to hear from its dad too.”
Richard grinned and held his hand there for a moment. If he thought I was absolutely and completely crazy, he hid it well.
That was when I knew I was pregnant. It was still more than a week before I could take even an “early result” pregnancy test. The “baby” was likely a rapidly-dividing bunch of cells traveling down my Fallopian tube to my uterus; it wouldn’t have even implanted yet.
In my mind, it was wondering if it should implant. The sperm had done its job, and now the “baby” had all its DNA. The true test of its viability had begun.