Postpartum – W2D5 – Deflated


That describes how I’m feeling in every meaning of the word.

My belly is flat (-ish) and squishy. It kind of sags inward around the belly button. Pregnant, it was round, plump, and firm. Postpartum it can barely hold itself up.

Someone opened the valve to my energy and let it all out. Like a hot air balloon laying deflated and used on the ground.

I want to hold Rachel in my arms all day and stare into her eyes. I don’t need food or drink or sleep, her eyes and her cuddles are enough. Why am I so exhausted? I have nothing left.

Was that a cry I heard? Oh, the little thing! She must need more cuddles from Mama. My little baby will know how much her mama loves her! That’s all she needs, cuddles, milk, a clean diaper, and cuddles. Cuddles make everything okay.

So. Deflated.

My brain can’t think straight. I hear even a peep from Baby Girl and I have to check on her. For anything else, it’s mush. Speaking without forgetting any words, reading the newspaper, remembering to eat the hot food sitting in front of me: these are beyond my brain’s current capacity.

It’s 100% focused on baby.

Off to take a nap.

Or maybe I’ll look at baby pictures instead.

KK 29mar19