So, obs as I am a barely even five weeks pregnant, we are not announcing it to anyone.

At eight weeks I’ll have an ultrasound. If they see a good heartbeat (over 140 bpm), there is less than a 10% chance of miscarriage.

That seems like a good time to start telling immediate family. Not too early that something unexpected could happen, not so late that we’re holding this burning secret forever.


We have smart families. Both sets of parents know we want to start trying soon (or already are…?). We just got back from our honeymoon. We’re openly telling everyone about moving to Denver, a more family-friendly city than Oakland.

I’m willing to bet money someone will figure it out before we announce.

Here are my top three choices:

Dave (dad in law). A supremely intuitive guy, he watches everyone around him like a psychic. Pros: He has a recently pregnant daughter and is intimately familiar with early pregnancy signs. Cons: He doesn’t know me super well, and I’ve had coincidentally had food poisoning (aka been nauseous and tired) the last two times I’ve seen him.

Cassie (sis in law). Reads people like books. Works with lots of preggos through work. Pros: Only about a month more pregnant than me, she’ll know and recognize early pregnancy signs better than anyone. Cons: She’s kind of absorbed with her own pregnancy right now, and she doesn’t know me super well.

Dad. Very mindful of everything around him, he watches other people like a hawk. Pros: Knows me super well, including my typical energy levels and drinking (!) habits. Cons: He’s seeing me in an unusual circumstance (traveling for work) and may not be as familiar with early pregnancy signs.

All three have vocalized clues they’ve seen. All three have commented on my lack of drinking (DEF the hardest sign to hide, fo’ real!). All three have seen me super tired and not myself.

BUT. I think Dave may have pulled ahead.

Last night at Bob’s reception, as he was sobering up to drive home, he gave me a Look. A very intense Look. It was the look of a man entirely absorbed in his thoughts. He was figuring something out, something he chose not to vocalize at that moment. But something significant. And definitely unforgettable.

This morning, as he, Richard, and I drove to the airport, I was tired. Ok I’m always tired, but today I didn’t have enough for breakfast and had no snacks OR water with me (breaking my own rules, I know). Super tired, so weak I felt like I couldn’t sit up. Nausea was beginning to set in.

All I wanted to do was cuddle with a hamburger in a bed of marshmallows. But, seeing as I was in the back of a pickup truck driven by my father in law, the next best thing was to tell Richard I needed food (hint hint!) and take a nap.

“Kathy?” asks Dave, “you doing alright back there?”

“Yea, just tired.”

Pause. A pregnant pause.

“… Is this tiredness … related … to something?”

“Nope!” interjects Richard before I can even open my mouth.


I think he’s figured it out.

KK 15jul18